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Watch If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025): stream If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) on Max, or rent on Apple TV+ or Fandango At Home. Compare all streaming options for this movie on WhereCanIWatch.tv.

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You poster

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Everything is under control.

2025 · Movie · 113 minAges 15+· Updated May 2026
⭐6.4
🍅92%
🍿55%
78

Top Pick

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🌐English,Spanish· Originally English
Budget:$2MBox Office:$1MRated:R

About

You can stream If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) on Max with a subscription, rent on Apple TV+, or buy on Apple TV+.

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film that explores themes of hotel, therapist, long island, new york. It also touches on female protagonist and sick child and motherhood.

Trailer

Director

Mary Bronstein

Cast

Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Mary Bronstein, Ivy Wolk, Mark Stolzenberg, Manu Narayan, Christian Slater

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You poster

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Everything is under control.

2025•⭐ 6.4•113 min•Ages 15+•Updated May 2026
🌐English,Spanish· Originally English

You can stream If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) on Max with a subscription, rent on Apple TV+, or buy on Apple TV+.

Budget:$2MBox Office:$1MRated:R
⭐

IMDb

6.4/10

🍅

RT Critics

92%

Certified

🍿

RT Audience

55%

78

Metacritic

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film that explores themes of hotel, therapist, long island, new york. It also touches on female protagonist and sick child and motherhood.

Director

Mary Bronstein

Cast

Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Mary Bronstein, Ivy Wolk, Mark Stolzenberg, Manu Narayan, Christian Slater

7 options ranked by value · 🇺🇸 United States

Keep browsing: New Releases · Popular Movies · Drama

Drama

hotel · therapist · long island, new york · female protagonist · sick child · motherhood · woman director · absent husband · psychological drama · mysterious illness

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is streaming on Max. Rent If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Apple TV+. Rent If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Fandango At Home. Rent If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Google Play Movies. Buy If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Apple TV+. Buy If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Fandango At Home. Buy If I Had Legs I'd Kick You on Google Play Movies. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is not currently available on Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Prime Video. Availability last verified May 20, 2026.

What Critics Say

Critics praised Byrne's performance, with Jeanette Catsoulis of The New York Times and Glenn Whipp of the Los Angeles Times calling it "magnificent". David Fear of Rolling Stone wrote, "[Rose Byrne]...

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What Critics Say

Critics praised Byrne's performance, with Jeanette Catsoulis of The New York Times and Glenn Whipp of the Los Angeles Times calling it "magnificent". David Fear of Rolling Stone wrote, "[Rose Byrne]...

Stop MotionDark ComedyHeistZombieIslandParodyComing SoonPsychological ThrillerRoad TripLove TrianglePrisonGhostMartial ArtsTrendingFree MoviesStop MotionDark ComedyHeistZombieIslandParodyComing SoonPsychological ThrillerRoad TripLove TrianglePrisonGhostMartial ArtsTrendingFree Movies

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) is available to stream on HBO Max Amazon Channel, Max, YouTube, Fandango At Home. Compare prices and options on WhereCanIWatch.tv.